"Nature never did betray the heart that loved her"
It was well past midnight.Though the sky was not very clear, moon was unveiling the veil of cloud quite often as if it was playing hide and seek with me. Cool breeze was blowing. I was alone, sitting on a rock just beside the lake. The lake was flanked by still, calm, aloof mountain on one side and a dark mysterious lively forest on the other. I am not sure whether I should call it a lake or not. It was a shapeless water-body which has cleft its own course through the mountains and the valley for miles.There was no sound at all except the whisper of silence.The source of whisper was unknown to me . Vivacious forest,the mountains with their distant presence, the lake enjoying her ballet with the pleasnt breeze - all were contributing to this unknown, unsavoured, powerful sound of nature. For once, I was witnessing how surely,silently nature is weaving its texture of life. As far as my eyes went, there was untouched untainted nature everywhere. Nature looked so young - every object of it lacked name. It was as if this part of world never existed before or has never been discovered. Sitting there , 'far from the maddenning croud' and of all that 'Man has made of Man', I felt the same as the first man felt when he opened his eyes to look at what surrounded him.As if nothing except me and what was there in front of me, existed in the world.As if history has stopped, time has stopped to start everything afresh. But how difficult it is to forget your existence!!! The thoughts which are the root of our existence are so powerful you just cannot ignore those.It's the thoughts, not our deeds that binds us to the world, that identifies our existence.
I was in a rather pensive mood that day. First came the pleasant memories, and then saddest thoughts that come with them started engulfing me. And I decided to sacrifice that self of mine which was the root cause of my agony. (We, human beings are composed of many selves -- many colors.Aren't we? Every moment every self is in a process of evolution.Some dies, some other takes birth..) This particular fellow was bleeding,getting hurt,bruised for quite a few days and all other selves were suffering from that.And so I had no choice but to sacrifice it. It's like you were amputating a part of your body because otherwise the gangrene inside that might creep your whole body. Though I knew what I was doing was right, the sense of voidness was too much to overcome.
And in my melancholy nature seemed to commiserate with me. As if I could see the reflection of myself in the nature. The moon overcast with clouds, clear water changing color and slowly becoming dark and darker -- the gloomy feeling inside seemed to manifest outside. A star which was conspicuously close to the moon that evening was no longer that close -- my sense of separation found a cosmic revelation. And I could see my passing phases of thoughts -- sometimes bright sometimes gloomy -- with the changing shade in the water of lake. Even in my melancholia, discovery of this great simili rose my spirit. Is this what they call personification of nature? Is this what they call identification with nature? I know this has been experienced by people of all ages and all places. But it was a discovery for myself.It was an experience hitherto unknown to me and so the sense of satisfaction was great.
I looked at the mountain. Still, quiet -- like a monk in meditation.. Looked at the water of the lake -- always busy ,flowing endlessly -- like a relentless worker..
What a contrast -- but what a similarity, none were perturbed by what's happening outside. Looked at the moon, at the star that went even far away from moon as if to say nothing was permanent in the life. What seems close to me today, is only for a passing fad. So why to be attached to that?
A great man said "Listen to nature". I read that- I memorized that - I quoted that at different essays -- for the first time I realized the meaning...
posted by moodygoody at 4:24 AM
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